Title: QQ Username and Signature – A Reflection on Feminine Mourning
In the age of virtual connections, QQ has become one of the most popular social platforms in China. With over 800 million active users, QQ provides a space for netizens to express themselves through a variety of features, such as chat rooms, group discussions, blogs, and personal profiles. Among the many ways to stand out and communicate with others on QQ, the choice of username and signature can reveal a lot about one's identity, values, emotions, and aspirations. In this article, I will delve into the meanings behind my QQ username and signature, which revolve around the theme of female mourning.
My QQ username is 哭泣的蝴蝶 (Kūqì de húdié), which means "Crying Butterfly". The image of a butterfly comes from a well-known myth in Chinese culture, where a young girl named Zhu Yingtai, who disguised herself as a man to attend school, fell in love with her classmate Liang Shanbo. After many hardships, their love was thwarted by social norms and family obligations, and Liang died of heartbreak. Zhu, unable to bear the grief, transformed into a butterfly and flew to Liang's grave, where they finally reunited in death. The story of "The Butterfly Lovers" has inspired numerous literary, musical, and visual works, and has become a symbol of tragic love, eternal devotion, and feminine sacrifice.
I chose the name "Crying Butterfly" to express my own experience of mourning, not for a lost lover, but for the losses and pains that women face in our society. As a feminist, I am deeply aware of the inequalities, injustices, and violences that women are subjected to, both historically and currently. From the foot-binding, witch-hunts, and virginity tests of the past to the sexual harassment, domestic violence, and gender pay gap of the present, women have been and still are victims of patriarchal structures that deny their autonomy, agency, and dignity. In addition, women are often expected to hide their emotions, to suppress their passions, and to conform to narrow beauty standards, which can cause them to suffer from depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.
Therefore, I see myself as a crying butterfly, a creature that embodies both the fragility and the beauty of womanhood. Like a butterfly, I am vulnerable to external forces that threaten my existence, yet I am also capable of metamorphosis, of changing myself and my surroundings for the better. By shedding tears, I release the sadness, anger, and frustration that I feel towards the injustices of the world, and by spreading my wings, I fly towards the dreams, ideals, and values that I cherish.
My QQ signature is 亡女 (Wángnǚ), which means "Female Mourner". The term "Wangnu" has a long history in Chinese literature, religion, and culture, and refers to women who mourn the dead, either as a professional role or as a familial duty. In traditional Chinese society, women were expected to excel in various domestic skills and virtues, such as weaving, cooking, sewing, embroidery, filial piety, chastity, and mourning. Mourning rituals included wearing mourning clothes, abstaining from certain foods, using mourning objects, and expressing grief in public. Women who fulfilled these duties were praised for their loyalty, filiality, and feminine 领略更多
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However, the image of Wangnu also reflects the paradoxical position of women in mourning. On the one hand, women were granted a certain degree of agency and respect, as they were entrusted with the task of preserving the memory and the dignity of the deceased. On the other hand, women were often objectified and oppressed by the patriarchal norms that governed mourning practices, such as the taboo on remarriage, the restriction on education and mobility, and the expectation of performative grief. Moreover, the role of Wangnu was often assigned to widows, daughters, and mothers, who had suffered the loss of their male guardians and providers, thus exacerbating the gendered aspect of mourning.
Therefore, I reclaimed the title of Wangnu as a way to honor the legacy and the struggles of women in mourning, and to challenge the gender stereotypes and the cultural biases that still shape our attitudes towards death and loss. As a Female Mourner, I acknowledge the pain and the complexity of grief, not only for the deceased but also for the survivors, who are often forgotten or neglected. I also recognize the power and the potential of mourning, as a transformative process that can foster empathy, resilience, and solidarity among those who share the same fate. By being a Wangnu, I aim to create a space of empathy and dialogue, where the voices and the stories of the mourners can be heard and valued.
In conclusion, my QQ username and signature reflect my identity as a female mourner, who weeps for the past and the present injustices that women face, and who aspires for a future of equality, freedom, and dignity. By choosing these names, I hope to connect with others who share my passion and my vision, and to encourage more dialogues and reflections on the gendered aspect of mourning in our culture and our society. May all the crying butterflies and the female mourners find their own wings to fly beyond the sorrow and towards the light.